Stuck in My Head

call.my.name

2010-11-09T07:48:00.000-08:00

(Jars of Clay)

I’ll go when you call me

I’ll run when you tell me where to go

We are desert walkers under shaded clouds

Your fire shows there’s more of you to know

Let our idols fail
Vanity subside
We will see the beauty in our lives

When I hear you call my name

When I hear you call my name

Send me to the edge of the earth
Show me what a life is worth

When I hear you call my name

I will wait in the darkest hours

For you will be a light on this road
Lead me out to the ground I’ve never walked on
Only to rely on you alone

This is my Father’s world

And to my listening ear
My heart is still at home
When I hear you call my name

Some quotes, compiled from various locations

2010-07-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

"There is no way for you to have too much trust in so good and so faithful a friend as Jesus Christ…" – Br. Lawrence

From Rob Bell's "Velvet Elvis" (I think):

"A church is a community of people who are learning how to be certain kinds of people wherever they find themselves, so they can do whatever it is they do 'in the name of the Lord Jesus.' The goal isn't to bring everyone's work into the church; the goal is for the church to be these unique kinds of people who are transforming the places they live and work and play because they understand the whole earth is filled with the kavod of God." (p.85)

"Missions then is less about the transportation of God from one place to another and more about the identification of a God who is already there." (p.87)

Poem: untitled

2010-07-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

Oh Father, I am so incomplete without you

You are the only one that can fill this hole in my heart

I know that if I follow you and obey you

I'll stick with you and our ways will never part

I long to follow you all of my days

In all your ways, in everything I do

I want people to see who's living in me

Let them see it's not me, it's you

No one else satisfies my longings

People think I'm odd because I follow God

I don't follow rules or regulations

But I do it all to please my Heavenly Father, my God

Poem: Blank Page

2010-07-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

Written March 21, 2003

This is a blank page of my life

Waiting to be filled

This is a blank page of my life

Waiting to be filled by you alone

You are the only one that can fill me

No one else, nothing else comes close

I need you to fill me now

So I can follow you the rest of my life

This page of my life is no longer blank

It's being filled by you alone

No one else could ever complete me

Only you, only you could fill me

Thank you for completing me

I'm so grateful and indebted to you

What can I do to repay you?

You don't need anything, but I'll give you me

Poem: Lean on You

2010-07-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

Written March 26, 2003

I will lean on you

Even during tough times

No matter what

I'll still follow you

Tough times will come

I can't stop them from coming

But knowing that,

I can be ready to lean on you

You're the stronghold in my life

You never change

I need you so I can

Lean on you in tough times

Poem: Small Talk

2010-07-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

Written Feb 23, 2003. I have no idea of the context.

Why all this small talk?

What about a true conversation, like we used to have?

This all sucks, it must for you too.

I miss really talking to you.

Why'd it come to an end?

Small talk

It fills the silent spaces

I wish there was more

More substance, more of you

Instead of this meaningless

Worthless small talk

I don't wanna talk about the weather

Or your grades or your family

Let's talk with more substance

Like we used to, before it ended

Why'd it come to an end?

We had it going, but then it all fell through

No more of me and you

Now we have to work to get back the way it was

And that'll take a while

But no more...

Nicene Creed

2010-02-09T11:00:00.001-08:00

During my Early Christianity course, I had to memorize and recite the Nicene Creed.

Here in Kiev, whenever we partake of Communion, we read the Nicene Creed together and recite the Lord's Prayer. Of course, both are in Russian, and the Nicene Creed we read omits the "and the Son" (filioque) clause.

Here's the version I memorized:

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory
to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father [and the Son].
With the Father and the Son
he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come. AMEN.

2009-11-12T23:09:00.000-08:00

I want to know and understand what God is doing in every circumstance. But to surrender is to let go, to cease striving, to trust — not because I can see what God is doing and it makes sense, but just because I trust Him. Let me repeat that. Surrender is trusting God in a situation not because we can see with our eyes that He is working all things to our good. It is trusting Him simply because He is who He is.

I can follow and trust God when I can tell what He's doing. When I can see the good working out. When His character makes sense to me. But when I find myself in a situation where I'm blind, where I can't figure out the good, where everything is beyond me — then I'm in a position to surrender. At the same time, I'm in a position to deepen my relationship with God, as a child does who believes in his father, as a woman does who risks her whole heart to love a man.

in the cross, where God displayed just how deeply He loves mankind — just how far He's willing to go to prove that we can trust Him. Surrender isn't foolish. It's casting ourselves on the one who loves us more than we love ourselves.

also http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002082.cfm

safe with you

2009-11-07T03:04:00.000-08:00

Learning inside
I will be safe with you tonight
You cause the smile
And the teardrops in my eyes
Locked inside your every movement
Will I stand or will I fall?
Trapped inside of your walls of glory
I am just as the dead leaves fall

Safe with you
Safe with you

Chaos in my head
The whole universe is at rest
When I'm in your arms
Is when I feel the best
Locked inside your creative being
Whirled about in your unfailing truth
Attacked with power by ferocious love
Salvation alone belongs to you

Safe with you
Safe with you

Lifting up my voice
To the God who really sees
The God who is consumed
With loving thoughts of me
The screaming winds
And the crashing of the oceans
Shifting sands and the changing of the seasons
As I stand in awe and wonder
Nothing in the world has prepared me for you!

Jesus, Jesus, I'm safe with you

wake me up

2009-10-14T12:27:00.000-07:00

Dress down your pretty faith. Give me something real.
Leave out the thee and thou and speak to me now.
Speak to my pain and confusion.
Speak through my fears and my pride.
Speak to the part of me that knows I'm something deep down inside.

I know that I am not perfect, but compare me to most,
In a world of hurt and a world of anger I think I'm holding my own.
And I know that you said there is more to life.
And I know I am not satisfied.
But there are mornings I wake up and I'm just thankful to be alive.

I've known now, for quite a while, that I am not whole.
I've remembered the body and the mind,
But dissected my soul.
Now something inside is awakening,
Like a dream I once had and forgot.
And it's something I'm scared of
And something I don't want to stop.

And I woke up this morning and realized that Jesus is not a portait.
Where stained glass windows or hymns or the tradition that surrounds us.
And I thought it would be hard to believe in
But it's not hard at all.
To believe I've sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.

And He's not asking me to change in my joy for martyrdom
He's asking to take my place.
To stand in the gap that I have formed
With His real, and His sweet, and His real amazing grace.
And it's not just a sign or a sacrament.
It's not just a metaphor for love.
The blood is real and it's not just a symbol of your faith.

So leave out the thee and thou and speak now.

2009-07-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

Repentence finds a way...

Only His blood can heal our wounds...

Sin is real, it doesn't feel, It always, only always, steals.
Run to the cross the only joy that's real.

ENC quotes

2009-07-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

Here are some quotes from my time at ENC. My friends and I had some pretty random conversations at meals...I miss that.

Andrew's response to finding out that Mr. Miyagi died... "He waxed off?"

Hilary to Fishkill: "Watch yourself"
Fishkill: "I can't--my eyes are in my head"

Jocelyn: "Get that face off your fa-"

Quote from Cassie's Xanga: "Jess totally "blindsided" Liv in the dugout, and down they went onto the floor. and that's how she says hello...don't get on her bad side."

Magon wrote this during freshman or sophomore year:
ok this one's goin out to all my ENC peeps...
to all my girls who dont need a keg and a hot guy to have a good time...
to all those late night parties that consisted of nothing more than a big bowl of chocolate and a good chat in a 90 degree 2x4 room...
to all those nights when getting off campus meant walking down to the playground and jumping off swings or skipping rocks in the ocean...
from the meaning of the first snow storm of the season being snowball fights and snowmen, to walks around campus at 2am to watch the snow fall just because we could...
from maxi pads on windows to "no pants o'clock" in skirts...
from church services in the parlor cuz there's a storm outside, to all-nighters on the beach...
to all of us, for having seen the road diverged and taking the one less traveled by, because without a doubt, it has made all the difference...

Our dinner conversation one night included some really big words, such as...
*Szewcyc ("Sez-wick")--someone's last name
*Oeprihschowr--I think this was someone's last name too. Only I don't remember how to pronounce it. Maybe it was something like "april shower".
*Wilzynski--quite possibly also someone's last name
*Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius.
"Zolokapundreskafabunosrigenxintkeepinminbachjewquvy" is a word Shea came up with as he went along. We've no idea what it means, but it does contain the phrase "Keep in min' " and the words Bach and Jew somehow.

Paul's attempt at pronouncing my last name: "Hagel-bocker"

~“that was so intense I feel like I’m going to throw up from awesomeness” Pearl
~“If you work 6 hours a day, you have 20 hrs free” Ben
~“You can be the h in ghetto” (since it's silent) Tim to Lori
~“Flowers are bad.” Tim
~“Those are not on command” Hilary
~“What if I get dressed up?” Ben
“What are you going to dress up as?” Bonnie
~“I’m going to write the most difficult impossible piece of music EVER and have Dr Millican try to play it and have him EXPLODE!” Erin
~“I’m trying not to be quoted here” Ben
~“So I can kill two stones with one bird” Jess Matt

Pearl: "....wake up dead...."

Sarah: "My cat's really sick and I don't know what's wrong."
Erica: "Awww what's wrong?"
Sarah: "I don't know"

"It takes me too much concentration to eat a candy corn."

Sarah: "I'm going to the library to take over the ICU."
Me: "Don't you mean IRC?"

Reading "The Princess and the Kiss" to Darlene and J.N....
JN: "Wouldn't that ruin the wedding, if her heart burst?"
JN: "I don't want it to tickle."
me: "And they lived happily ever. ... After."

We were talking about turtles..."Why do your hands smell like animal?"

Peanuts quotes!

2009-07-08T16:04:00.000-07:00

http://people.cs.uchicago.edu/~dinoj/peanuts.html

(Lucy threatens Linus with a fist.)
Lucy: These five fingers... individually, they're nothing. But when I curl them together like this into a single unit, they form a weapon that is terrible to behold!
(Linus gives in. Quickly. And then talks to his fingers.)
Linus: Why can't you guys get organized like that?

Linus: I was going to use this box of chocolate mix here, but I changed my mind... I didn't want to use it after what I read on the side...
Lucy: What does it say on the side?
Linus: It's full of ingredients!

(CB gets nailed during a ball game and lies dazed on the pitcher's mound.)
Pattie: What happened?
Linus: Charlie Brown got hit with a line drive!
Pattie: Does anyone here know anything about first aid?
Lucy: It's probably not serious. Second or third aid will do.
...
Linus: Here, run over to the drinking fountain and soak this handkerchief with cold water.
Lucy: You're kidding! With a head like Charlie Brown's you'll need a bed sheet!
CB: I'm dying and all I hear is insults!

CB: I'll tell you why English teachers go to college for four years. So they can make stupid little kids write stupid essarys on what they did all stupid summer!

Linus: We had a good time at school today. Our teacher took us on a field trip. We went out and we saw this great big field. It was a real field, and we saw it! We stood right there are we saw that field! [Note: the look on Linus' face does not indicate sarcasm.]
CB: Do you think you'll be going on any more field trips?
Linus: I doubt it. When you've seen one field, you've seen them all.

[Lots of snow about.]
Snoopy: The only way to beat the cold weather is to hibernate. I will now settle down in my den and not come out until... suppertime.

[Lucy makes Linus some toast.]
Linus: You gonna make some toast? How about putting in a slice for me?
Lucy: Here you are.
Linus: Thank you very much. Hey! This is too light! It's hardly singed! Surely you don't expect me to eat raw toast!

Lucy: Everywhere you go you seem to run into phonies! The people you think are sincere usually turn out not to be, and the people you think aren't sincere usually turn out to be sincere! The question is, how do you tell the phonies from the realies?
CB: Realies?

Linus: Life is peculiar. Wouldn't you like to have your life to live over if you knew what you know now?
Sally: What do I know now?

Sally: I worry about getting old... who wants to be nine?

Lucy: Have you ever seen an X-ray of a hiccup?

Snoopy: I hate it when it snows on my french toast!

Sally: That was so exciting I never want to do it again.

Marcie: I think the teacher is mad at you for not doing your homework. She says she may have to resort to castigation.
Pattie: They can't do something to you if you don't know what it means.

CB: Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask "What is the meaning of life?" Then a voice comes to me that says "I before E except after C!"

[CB is behind a tree.]
CB: Real love is standing behind a tree so you can see her when she leaves her house. Of course it can sometimes be embarassing. Like when you discover you've been standing on the wrong side of the tree.

Lucy: Rerun, I head you're getting pretty good with your numbers. Let's have a little test. Tell me what you see. [She holds out three fingers.]
Rerun: Fingers!
Lucy: Okay Rerun, let's work on our counting again. Now, how many fingers do you see? [She holds out four fingers.]
Rerun: All but the thumb.

also some on http://www.allgreatquotes.com/peanuts_quotes2.shtml

CB: In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.

CB: Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

Snoopy: Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves and then we have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.

IOU, by Bertha Munro

2009-07-08T15:59:00.000-07:00

I owe you respect for your personality. You too are that climax of God's creation, made in His likeness. I owe you a right to your own opinion. You may differ with me without fear that I shall raise a barrier between us if we do not see eye to eye. We can disagree and still be friends.

I owe you belief in your integrity. Since I do, I shall put the best possible construction on your actions. I shall trust your words and deeds, even those I am unable to understand.

I owe you honest treatment; I shall not steal people's good opinion of you. I shall voice the sort of comment on you and your actions that I should wish made on me.

I owe you a "taking-off place." Though I value your friendship, I shall not enslave your spirit nor bind you so closely to me that you will lose the wealth of other friendships, or even fail to develop your own best potentialities.

I owe you thoughtful consideration. I will not steal your time when you are evidently busy, just because I happen to have some free time to "kill."

I owe you honest wages if I chance to be employer, honest work if I chance to be employed, honest measure and just weight in any case.

I owe you special help in time of special need: my hand, my ear, my voice. I owe you patience with what seems to me your stupidity or slowness. I owe you the identification of Golden-Rule imagination. I owe you "love unfeigned".

I owe it to you not to push you down in order to lift myself. Rather, I owe you advancement to the limit of my ability. I owe it to you to see you forge ahead of me without any reaction of envy or jealousy--even to give you a push.

I owe you a good example, a Christian testimony. I owe you the gospel of Christ to the limit that I possess it. I owe it to you to prove its power to the full, that God may challenge and encourage you by the sight of what He has done for someone else.

All this I owe you, and much more. I owe it to you not to fall behind with my payments. I shall always owe the abounding love which will meet those unforeseen and unexpected demands of the emergency and will save me from "thou shalt" and "I must."

"Girl America" by Mat Kearney

2009-07-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

(taken from my Myspace blog)

my girl america is just a youth is this world
her smile is more precious than the sparkle of pearls
and though her age reads shes just a young girl
the age behind her eyes show the pain that shes swirled
through the hand thats been dealt though its quiet as kept
the weight was all felt last night when she slept
and as she crept into the dreams of the things of her past
seems to have grown so fast, way beyond her own class
though they're right there with her, her brothers and her sisters
a natural born leader even when her peers diss her
my girl, shes at a crossroads, people praying for her
some are preying on her- magazine ads, sex, drama
smoking marijuana, longing for a father to call her daughter
shes part of a generation longing for reconciliation
and this future that they're facing and this poison that they're tasting
my girl, i know this love that you're chasing

my girl america's crying when she's lying on her bed at night
i can see that shes screaming when she's dreaming for her freedom
my girl america's dying while shes trying just to stop this fight
don't stop believing, my girl america

boys with hungry eyes have been beating her door
telling her that's what she's for, trying to rob at her core
then leave calling her a whore, but still she knows theres more
i know she knows theres more because there is a voice she can't ignore
cause it was founded in the foundations, from the day of her creation
in God we trust engraved on the treasures of her nation
and the void that the boys cant fill
with the tipping of the bottle or the popping of the pill
but still most of her friends don't care as they glare
ready to drown down the tunnel as they frown down the tunnel
they stumble and the tumble breaking down into rubble
my girl america, stop can't you see
its not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be
but how you deal with these problems and pains that come your way
its for you that i pray with hope for a brighter day
and so i say, your deliverance is coming

faith like a child from your first birth
you left it in the dirt on your worst hurt
and i see each tear and every scar
the hands that have held you where you are
and i can see we've strayed so far
a king born under that morning star
as a crown of thorns was placed to erase
each tear thats touched your face
and his palms and sides were pierced with spears
he hung in love just to draw you near
my girl, out of this whole world
cant you see this is where we started

To my friend:
You don't have to hurt this much anymore. The last part of this song is the most important. Jesus "hung in love just to draw you near." I love that part. This whole Easter thing, that's what it's all about. Jesus wants you to come to Him, and get him to heal all your hurts. He will wrap His arms around you even when no one else will. He will gladly heal your hurts, when you bring them to Him.
Nothing else this world can offer will satisfy. Oh sure, they will for a while, but there's more to life.
Keep your innocence as long as you can. It is soooo important. Don't believe what the world tells you. That doesn't matter.
I don't know why you hurt, or why you turn to other things. But believe me, Jesus is the answer, as cliche as that sounds.
I want so much to protect you from hurt, and from all these things that come your way, but I can't. But what I can say is that when crazy things do come your way, turn to God and hide yourself in His love. Trust in Him.
~me.

"My Consecration" (Fitkin)

2009-07-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

I am Willing...

To take what Thou givest;

To lack what Thou withholdest;

To relinquish what Thou takest;

To go where Thou commandest;

To be what Thou requirest;

I am, O Lord, wholly and

Forever Thine

love and light.

2009-07-01T23:47:00.001-07:00

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God. (1 John)

God loves us so much. And what's more, that means we should be proclaiming this love from the rooftops, to anyone and everyone, to know how amazing this love is. Even when we mess up. Even when we have doubts. Even to the loveless. Even when the world lets us down, God's love will never fail us.

THAT is truly amazing, truly good news to be shared.

2009-06-21T00:33:00.000-07:00

"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
(the fox in The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery)

where can I go?

2009-06-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do headstands for you
Every time I fell on you
yeah every time I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But every time I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you

I don't wanna let you go
But you need to learn to fly
I just wanna let you know
You only have one life to try to find out
What it means to be alive
I hope you find your home

Oh, I guess they'll say I've grown
I know more than I wanted to know
I've said more than I wanted to say

I'm heading home
Yeah, but I'm not so sure
That home is a place
You can still get to by train

Oh, I suppose they'll say I should've known
Or maybe I'm just feeling old
Like a lawyer
With no one to blame

I'm headed home
Yeah, but I'm not so sure
That home is a place
That will ever be the same

[When I was trying to listen to "Bruises", I had technical difficulties with the file, and this song was the one that played next on shuffle.]

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

...as I am...

2009-05-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

How I long to be broken
How I want to be near you
How my heart skips beats when
Your love accepts me as I am

Breath of God
Breathe on me
Hold me in your hands
Take my life
This offering
And use me where I am

How many times do we offer to God to use us "wherever He wants"? I know I say that a lot. In reality, I am RIGHT HERE. God can use me right here, in Quincy. He can use me this summer in QAC or AAC. I want to find some opportunities to get plugged in somewhere other than the church this summer. However, as I think about that, I need to seize the opportunities given me each and every day. Visiting old high school teachers. Substitute teaching in the public schools. Meeting people at the library.

Those are opportune moments to share about God's love, and the hope that Christ brings. Not just to live a life that is different from others', but to flavor my conversations with Christ.

God, grant me the strength to rest in you

I guess it’s just hard to believe the grace you pour out on me.
I guess I’m just starting to see how you’re working in me.

This is what makes my head spin – You’re forever holy.
God of all creation pour your life into me.
This is so overwhelming – You’re forever holy.
God of my salvation clothe me in your glory.

Runny Babbit poems by Shel Silverstein

2009-04-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

"Runny's Rig Bomance"
Runny had a firlgriend,
Her name was Sunny Bue.
He called her nots of licknames,
Like "Kitchy-Itchy-Koo."
Sometimes he called her "Boney-Hun"
And sometimes "Dovey Lear,"
But he only called her "Peety-Swie"
When no one else could hear.

"Runny’s Jig Bump" by Shel Silverstein

Runny be quimble,

Runny be nick,

Runny cump over the jandlestick.

But now—what smells like furning bluff?
Guess he didn’t hump jigh enough.

Good quotes.

2009-03-21T19:07:00.001-07:00

"Go to the people. Learn from them, live with them. Love them. Start with what they know. Build on what they have. The best of leaders are those when the job is done, when the task is accomplished, the people will say, 'We have done it ourselves.' " (Lao Tse)

"The wide world is all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot for ever fence it out."
"Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere." (both quotes from Fellowship of the Ring)

"The Christian way is different...Christ says, 'Give me all. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want You...No half-measures are any good.' " (CS Lewis)

Rendezvous book, day 18
"We serve and minister because: We genuinely care about people; We see people as God sees them; We really love others; We want justice in our world; God's love for us must flow forth in love for others."

past & present & future

2008-11-27T18:40:00.000-08:00

All the roads that lie before me
All the struggles I go through
Every second I’m reminded
That it all belongs to you
Now I’m ready
To let it go
To give it away

So strike a match, set fire to the list
Of all my good intentions, all my preconceived ideas
I want to do Your will no matter what it is

do not spare the rod
how i long for faithfulness
tell me once again of Your grace
and woo me in
let not these lovers be more attractive than You, God

It's all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It's all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours

i was so scared to make my mind up
but God said it was time for me to make my way in the world, this little girl

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

No parachutes or safety nets here
One foot on the water to face these fears
I'm coming out strong like I can't be wrong
I said "hey, I won't fall in the middle"

"Something Heavenly" by Sanctus Real

2008-10-11T17:23:00.000-07:00

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything, I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time *to* breathe in and let everything out

wondering...

2008-10-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

I'm always pretty happy when I'm just kicking back with you.

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

I will go, Lord, send me
To the world, to the lost, to the poor and hungry
Take everything I am, clay within your hands
I will go, send me

Give me eyes to seek the pain
Let the blessing You've poured out on me
Not be spent on me in vain

Can you feel the hearts of the children?
Aching for home, for something of their very own
Reaching hands, with nothing to hold on to,
But hope for a better day, a better day

Crying Jesus, help me
To feel the love again in my own land
But if unknown roads lead away from home,
Give me loving arms, away from harm

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

I've got my memories
They're always
Inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place
I've never known

And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next

We are miracles
And we're not alone

Even if I fall

2008-09-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

Even If I Fall
Mike Cowart & Michelle Valley
(can be heard at http://www.myspace.com/mikecowart)

I may pass through the waters
But one thing I know,
You are with me
I may walk through the fire,
But one thing I know,
You are with me
Though my way seems uncertain,
In You I'll put my trust

(Ladies) -
Even if I fall,
I'll rise again
for You are my God
Even if I fall, You lift me up (rpt)
(Men) -
When You're with me, I will rise up
When You lift me up (rpt)

I may go through some trials
But I will not fear, for You are with me
I will go to the mountain,
And I will press on, for You are with me
Though my way seems uncertain
In You I'll put my trust
(chorus)

St. Antony quotes

2007-12-12T15:12:00.000-08:00

"Let us not look at the world and think that we have renounced great things, for even the whole world is very small when compared with all of heaven."

"Now 'turning back' is nothing but feeling regret and thinking once more about worldly things."

2007-11-05T11:11:00.000-08:00

"All you really need to know is where you belong"

I know that every time
I find the one thing that holds me back inside
I want to tear apart
And bring my selfish pleasures at your feet
Every part of me is an offering,
I will set forth and lay it down at your throne
Because I live for you alone

[CHORUS]
No matter what it takes I will offer,
Everything I am I give to you
Even unto death I will follow,
No matter what the price I will give to you now

I won’t throw this time I have aside,
Your the very prize I have in sight,
You’ve placed this purpose down in me,
And it burns so deep
Let this life I lead bring you all the glory,
I’m entrusted with a gift that I can’t hide
Revive my heart, revive my mind

To live is to really die
I will keep this steady pace,
Until that final day

Phrases I like

2007-10-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

"servus sevorum Dei" = "servant of the servants of God"

"universe of discourse" = "all values of a variable in a particular domain"

"painting the world the color of Jesus"

"Little is Much" by downhere

2007-08-06T23:31:00.000-07:00

I feel like this song describes my summer with Youth in Mission in El Paso, Texas and Juarez, Mexico.

What is the measure of a life well-lived?
If all I can offer seems to0 small to give?
This is a song for the weaker, the poorer, and so called failures

Little is much when God's in it
And no one can fathom the plans He holds
Little is much when God's in it
He changes the world with the seeds we sow

Who feels tired and unqualified?
Who feels deserted and hung out to dry?
This is a song for the broken, the beat-up, and so called losers

Consider a Kingdom in the smallest seed
Consider that giants fall to stones and slings
Consider a child in a manger
Consider the story isn't over
What can be done with what you still have

first post!

2007-03-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, so some of these lyrics may not exactly match what I'm going through at the time, but I like them. :) These are recent ones that have shown up on my Yahoo Launchcast station.

"And if all we’ve got is what no one can break
I know I love you
If that’s all we can take
The tears are coming down
They’re mixing with the rain
I know I love you, if that’s all we can take"
(Mat Kearney, "All I Need")

"speak, and say the words that no one else will ever say
love, love like the world we know is over in a day"
(Jars of Clay, "Show You Love")

"I remember the day when the love of God
landed in our town
He took all the silent and broken hearts,
fixed them up and gave them a sound
you had almost every different kind of kid
from every different kind of social background
taking all the cool they had and praising God,
as He spun them around
when God came to town..."
(Rock N Roll Worship Circus, "Gift of Cool")

"no parachutes or safety nets here
one foot on the water to face these fears"
(Mat Kearney, "In the Middle")

"Take my will, take my all
Wrap my life around Your call
Set apart to sing Your praise
To live the difference in these days"
(Newsboys, "Take My Hands")